Pope Dies, Rapture Index Soars

The Rapture Index soared yesterday following news of the death of the Pope. The rise was lead by the "False Prophet" index, which jumped 2 points on the news. The market felt that the death of the pope left open the possibility for the new pope to be the false prophet. The "Ecumenism" index jumped 1 point on the news due to fears that a new pope may help integrate the world's religions. The Index now stands a 153, close to this years high of 155.